Every once in a while, I meet someone who has a tremendous testimony of God working in their lives, in spite of all the difficulties.  When I received this one from Kirsten A., written so well, I was so blessed that I just had to share it with you (with her permission).

“In my application essay, I recounted how my journey overcoming complex regional pain syndrome led to my current desire to become a physician assistant.  Though perhaps compelling, and while completely true, there is another story that parallels and underpins that story — one I believe to be of infinitely greater worth:  how God used my pain and brokenness to soften my heart to His Truth.

“God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full — there’s nowhere for Him to put it,” writes St. Augustine (City of God).  This is not to deny God’s omnipotence, but rather an affirmation of our free will.  It was particularly true of my situation prior to my illness.  Being raised in a loving but secular home, I found no shortage of worldly things with which to occupy my time when I later lived in Los Angeles as an adult.  Notions of a higher power were, to me, irrelevant at worst and charmingly intellectual at best.  When the pain began, however, I quickly learned that the things I held up as necessities really were not.  What mattered beyond all else was the love and support of my family and friends.  Most reluctantly, I entered a new life physically and spiritually.

In response to what I now recognize was prompting from my grandmother and the Holy Spirit, I began reading the Bible.  As I read, God placed key believers in my life.  Through prayer, revelation, and loving discipleship, I placed my faith in Jesus Christ.  I still remember lying awake one night, tears streaming down my face, asking the Lord how he could forgive me for every shameful thing I had ever done.  Today I know that the answer is repentance and the blood of Christ given through unfathomable grace.  On June 9th 2013, I was baptized by my pastor in the American River.

What I initially perceived to be the most disastrous event in my life was actually a great blessing.  CS Lewis writes, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” (The Problem of Pain).  I rejoice in the Lord for His perfect plans, and for those who have and continue to guide me along the path.  How blessed we are to have such a faithful Father!  If anyone sees any light in me, it is because of the love of Jesus Christ.  Though I fall short daily, I strive to love and serve others where they are in life, so that they too may know the true joy of God’s love for them.

In my daily life, I endeavor to seek first His kingdom and to listen to the still, small voice of the Spirit.  It is often challenging.  I have noticed that it is easy to feel connected and loving when things are pleasant.  It is quite another to do so in the midst of time pressures, hostile patients, cramped and hot working conditions, and loosely restrained chaos.  Many of my patients face extremely difficult home, health, and financial situations, the frustration from which is often directed towards staff in the form of verbal and, at times, physical abuse as we make efforts to help.  Slow referrals processes, understaffing, and endless insurance procedures act to further complicate the situation for these patients.  I have learned, and am still learning, to put my anxieties and frustrations before God, that I may lean on Him to serve each individual with diligence and humility.

Prayer and fellowship are invaluable.  I’ve found that it is now natural for me to speak with God throughout the day — thanking, asking, listening, praising in silent song — my heart is drawn to Him because He is the only one who can truly satisfy it.  I also benefit from fellowship through my church, participating in women’s bible study groups as well as a Middle East missions training program.

Above all other paths, I want to follow the one God wants uniquely for me.  I believe He has led me to serve as a physician assistant.  God willing, I will walk with discernment through whichever door He opens, wherever that may lead.”   Kirsten A.

Soli Deo Gloria! Pastor Mike